Uterus Quest Part 10: Quintessencey

par FuckMan
8/10 120 pts / 16 votes - 10 commentaires
I worry about that retard kid of ours.
19 years ago:-
Why?
He keeps going on and on about this new 'friend' of his he met last year. It's like the two of them are inseparable!

That is weird that he even HAS friends. We keep him locked up all the time. You sure our boy's not a fucking queer?
I don't think so, but he's also been prone to putting on a mock-Irish accent now and again and has been quoting Joyce. It's all very strange seeing we monitor him obsessively and don't allow him the luxury of company. I think he's gone completely insane, the poor lunatic bastard.

Sounds like a case of me having to whip out the oiled leather again!
Oooohhh I LOVE it when you say that. You're so fucking manly!

Now WHO, remember! Don't ever tell your parents about the naked games we play together. Promise?
I promise.
Meanwhile:-
After all, I'm not like the other guys. ZMONG!
I know. You're... different. I like that.

SHHHHhhhhhh!
WHO! YOU IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN?!?
Remember! It's our little secret! LOL!
*teehee* LOL!
YOU SUMFABITCH! COME 'ERE!
Dangnabbit WHO you stupid little cunt! You been playing with yourself in the bathroom again?!?!
Didn't I tell you not to touch that dirty little beast of yours, didn't I? I SWEAR WHO, if you do it again I'll REALLY cut it off this time!

I wasn't playing with myself mother and father, honest! I was playing in the lavatory with my new friend, 'Quintessencey'!

Queue-whuh? Q-ball? Q-tip? Sounds like a queer name t'me!
Now now WHO. What did we tells you about the lying to us again?!?

Honest mother. I'm not lying at all.

Who's this 'Queerio' fella, anyhoo?

Quintessencey's a white bisexual horned man with no nose or mouth, who wears tight fitting short shorts. About 6 feet tall.

6 feet?

6 feet 3 and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts.

Humour the little bastard, whydoncha?
*snicker* How.. how did you 'meet' this Q person WHO?

I'd just helped Ed Hickey into a taxi. Ed had been mixing his drinks, and I felt he needed conveying. I started to walk down the street when I heard a voice saying: 'Good evening, WHO'.

I turned, and there was this big horned bisexual white guy with no facial features and tighty whitey short shorts, leaning against a lamp-post. Well, I thought nothing of that! Because when you've lived in a town as long as I've lived in this one, you get used to the fact that everybody knows your name.

HAS OUR SON NOW GONE SO COMPLETELY INSANE THAT A G OOD OILED LEATHER BEATING WILL DO NO GOOD?!?!?!
Now WHO, tell your momma and poppa what do you, and Q get up to then?

Quintessencey and I have things to do... we sit in the bars... have a drink or two... and play the juke box. Very soon the faces of the other people turn towards me and they smile. They say: 'We don't know your name, mister, but you're all right, all right.' Quintessencey and I warm ourselves in these golden moments.

We came as strangers - soon we have friends. They come over. They sit with us. They drink with us. They talk to us. They tell us about the great big terrible things they've done and the great big wonderful things they're going to do. Their hopes, their regrets. Their loves, their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar.

Then I introduce them to Quintessencey, and he's bigger and grander than anything they can offer me. When they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back.


Mother and father love me so much, they've put me here in this happy place where I can play with myself all the time, and with all my friends too like Mr. Angry Inch, Mr. Tickley Anus, Mr. Hardened Nipples, and Mr. Sticky Bukkake, while mother and father change their names and relocate themselves to Canada! WHEEEEEEEE
Arkham Asylum:-
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commentaires
NoteNote :   
i love this comic...forget those guys who dont like it...its hilarious...you put alot of thought into this one lol...hmm thinking and gnomz users...not a common combination lol jk nice job man
10. 20.05.06 à 01:40 |thegreek10/10
thegreek
I understand your jealous disgust. Maybe one day you'll make a good Comic of the Day. Until then, keep tryin'! You know WHO you are. X
9. 12.05.06 à 01:49 |FuckMan10/10
FuckMan
Yuk.
8. 11.05.06 à 20:26 |doctorwho0/10
doctorwho
That's sick.
7. 11.05.06 à 19:06 |LeJardinierDeKitsch0/10
LeJardinierDeKitsch
I`ve got to say, I`m damn impressed by how deep, complex, and literary this whole series is. Your intellect would be dangerous in the wrong hands.
6. 07.05.06 à 15:22 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
Dude thats funny!....Dude.....E .J. Lofgren? From Harvey? I played him in harvey last month! Grouchobeer=funny Supartroy and richard=gay!
5. 07.05.06 à 04:49 |jingo10/10
jingo
Cool
4. 07.05.06 à 02:07 |FFXking10/10
FFXking
SHIT
3. 07.05.06 à 01:42 |supartroy0/10
supartroy
lol
2. 06.05.06 à 23:29 |I_Z_Z_Y10/10
I_Z_Z_Y
I guess E. J. Lofgren didn't show up in time to save him.
1. 06.05.06 à 20:34 |grouchobeer10/10
grouchobeer
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