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Chronicles Of Mammon: It's A Kinda Magic

par thecaptainofo

60 pts / 7 votes - 1 commentaires


	Vas iss it now herr choir boy? Cannot you seeink I am being very busy?


	Your egoness, I bring forth more news from the realm of secular entertainment journalism!

At Fortress Vatican..


	Out wif it mach schnell, before I releasink my Vatican Rottweilers, Blondi & Schnitzel before you!


	Well you see who-who-is-so glorious-I-am-no t-worthy, the Hollywood press is upset over our repeated condemnation over the Harry Potter books and movies!


	Ja, iss because it is havink witchcraft! Witches and devilry is bad for God, because God is sayink so. Therefore ve must be burnink the Harry Potter books and films for it's 'satanic magic'. Sieg Heil!


	Yes, 'magic'. But the press also points out we weren't too upset over the Lord Of The Rings movies, which also has wizards and magic. Oh please your worshipness, I am but a lowly underling. Explain to me?


	Well herr choir boy. Uhm. ...


	Uh..


	Is it because J.R.R. Tolkien was a profoundly Catholic writer who wrote fantasy novels expressing universal themes in an Anglized mythology?


	[b]HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPTINK ME!


	oh I'm so sorry your grace I'm not worthy..


	But ja now you mentionink it, I am so clever as to givink you the idea. Also, Ms. Rowling has das witchy nose. So she must be witchy too. Und therefore, ve must drown her!


	Don't you mean burn?


	SILENCE! Ve drown her, und if she floats she must know ze secret witchy craft of the forbidden: FLOATING! Therefore she IS a witch unt zen ve burn her. After she dries out.


	Oh thank you most merciful for not taking out your anger on me, I am not fit to lick the lint off your belly button..


	But your most grand poobahness, that still doesn't answer my initial inquiry..


	Iss simple herr choirboy. Lord Of Ze Rinks is like Chronicles of Narnia, ja? Ve have ze Christ-like figures, of ze Aslan, and ze Gandalf. They use magick, but also, they die to save the world unt they come back!


	So if ze story characters are like Jesus and also use magic, they are o.k! Unt so like the Bible, any made-up stories that is like Bible is GOOD. Unt anyzink that is made-up but is NOT like the Bible, is BAD. Are you understandink now?